sometimes i remember that george lucas is the biggest fucking homophobe and that advocating for gay luke is really important because lucas has said over and over that gay people “don’t exist” in the sw comics and apparently threatened to sue gay fans who were publishing their writing in zines, and hyper-masculinized luke in the comics because he thought it would make mlm relate to him less and created a character and romantic arc out of pure hatred for men who love men and that mlm have seen themselves in luke for decades and deserve that representation full fucking stop.
Mark Hamill is the opposite of this, a gay teen asked if Luke is gay and he responded by saying, “of course he’s gay.” He literally did this to say if you as a gay man relate to Luke and feel a connection to him and think he’s gay, then Luke is gay.
(Hands in the air for Nick Gillard, who invented an entire fighting style and gets almost no props for it unless you’re REALLY paying attention. Also, he’s a sweetheart.)
Luke is either gonna be Jokester Yoda Master or Salty Sad Ben Master in Episode 8. There is no in-between.
Although I personally would love it if he developed an Obi-Wan level of depressing sass.
“Back in my day, our Death Stars only destroyed one planet at time. This is just ridiculous.”
“Are we sure Han died? There may have been a vat of Carbonite down there. Someone go visit Jabba’s son, just to be sure.”
“Why did I choose Ahch-To? Well, I’ve been on planets of all sand, cloud, and ice, and I hated all of them. I thought maybe all water would be a good change of pace. It’s not. Get me the fuck out of here, my ship malfunctioned years ago and everyone thought I was being edgy when really I was just stranded.”
“Oh great, another helmeted murderer I’m related to.”
“Rey, pray to the Force that you’re not actually part of this family. Nobody wants to be part of this family.”
“If Yoda could do it at 900, I can do it at 60.” *promptly dies out of spite*
“Your friend is a stormtrooper, huh? You know, I was a stormtrooper once. Yeah. Yeah, I was great. Tallest one there.”
“There is no luck, only the Force… and the Force likes to be very unlucky around me.”
“Uh, thanks for bringing the lightsaber that holds only memories of pain for me, but I have my own. In green. With a custom handle. You can keep that one.”
“Just kidding, watch me duel-wield.”
So, judging from the only trailer that wasn’t so minimalistic that I could learn more about what I’m going to see in theaters from an ancient Mesopotamian erotic terra cotta plaque that jokingly states: “Putting the fertile back in the Fertile Cresent”, it turns out that Luke is but a humble Porg breeder that stares at Rey in silent terror every moment they have screen time together.
He’s basically Yoda with Anakin in Episode 1, except he doesn’t have Mace’s resting bitch face and Qui-Gon’s piss-poor child care skills to help hide the fact that he’s scared shitless by the sand-covered young person.
Since so many nice people (thanks everyone who confirmed there was still interest in this project!) showed an interest in seeing this, here is my GAR calculations!
For additionally nerdery about how troopers are numbered, look under the cut.
Meta and / or discussion on the argument, as well as questions, are welcome as long as everyone stays polite.
Please do not take this as canon, this is all fanon stuff I made that I plan using for my stories and am only sharing for those interested in it, as well as for anyone who wants to use it too (I’d like a nod if that were ever to happen).
(I also headcanon that Sifo Dyas ordered 5 of these GAR, so for the actual numbers of clones produced take this and multiply for 5, and that’s why he needed funds from someone like Hego Damask).
The explanation beneath the cut was made with the idea of it being interactive, in the sense of explaining how you get the whole number out, allowing for anyone wanting to use it to make a streamlined process towards creating their own OCs numbers.
Thank the Force, I’m not the only person who’s tried to lay it all out in one place… Definitely like your formatting choices better than my pencil and notebook paper, though!
I started it all off with a lot of scribbling on my notebooks too!
Most of the original work for this one is in Italy right now, but I find that ideas come out better if I put them down in paper first, then Skype (bothering my friends and fiancee) and then working on formatting them properly through Open Office.
Makes it easier for sharing 😉
Good to know!
How’d you gather your data for it? I took notes from the wikia pages about the GAR, and guesstimated when necessary… Then threw most of it out to build a completely different system for an AU of mine. xDx
There are actual canon numbers for the GAR, but they are made … well, I can find them for you if you want me to and then we can bitch together about them. Mostly they account up to 3 million total soldiers, which is complete and absolute bullshit.
I decided, much like you did, to throw it out of my window (with many mutterings of “It’s like the 10k total Jedi all over again” [another rant for another day] and “these people do not realize how vast a fucking galaxy is, Force save from fucking Lucas and his inability to plot things even half way decently” as well as “you cannot have five different ranks all named Jedi General with no other specifying denominator, for fuck’s sake”) and then took inspiration from the Roman Legions and from officer titles in army rosters on wikipedia and did my own thing.
I decided to go with base 5 for the CTs because it made the most numerical sense to me (and it went well with the Cadets episode stuff where they had Echo, Fives, Cutup, Hevy and Droidbat forming a single unit) but you cannot simply send your men in the field without a superior officer of sort around, and that’s where the two CCs came from.
Medics had to be included, but medical track is so different that I decided to make them their own group.
Then I started reading up on troopers and I found out that there actually were many Legends-canon troopers that had very specific fields of action (and thus would have required specific training) and that’s where the DC and EC companies came from.
At that point I realized that I also had to slot in the various commandos / ARC (Alpha ARC are the original ones, Beta ARC are the ones who were CT first and then trained for ARC) / spec ops guys and that’s where those units came from.
I threw in a reminder to myself that the Nulls were around and that apparently there were also clone space marines on the ships, which I found out while I was reading about transportation and such for the GAR, and decided to call it a few weeks of work well done XD
I have also headcanons re: production as view by the Kaminoans, the fact that extra-troopers were made and then repurposed (read: moved to support / command deck / comm position) when the Kaminoans had to whittle down the clones to the required numbers (because given the time needed to raise-train a clone, it makes no sense for them to just make the precise number they need and hope for the best, but it does make sense for them to make extras and then repurpose the ones who are scoring the lowest in their specific tracks), Tipoca City being a Showcase Facility rather than an actual training facility (hence why they had undeveloped, still-fetal clones at various stages of growth as well as child clones still around when they were so close to their estimate delivery time) and other similar things.
Steel Phoenix Studios 