every time i walked away from something i wanted to forget,i told myself it was for a cause that i believed in. a cause that was worth it. without that, we’re lost.
I assumed blind!Obi-Wan keeps everyone apart from their voices and Force signature, but comes to realise that he might have to identify Troopers when they can’t respond to him. He proceeds to grab his way through the entire 212th. He has a lot to say about some peoples haircuts. Cody gets Revenge by telling Obi-Wan about Ahsokas Montrals having grown every time she’s around.
okay i know Hardeen was a Terrible arc for everyone involved, but what if Obi Wan had told Anakin about faking his death? Anakin’s like no worries dude I Got This, except he really. does not,,
the only reason his “acting” is remotely believable is because almost no one has seen him like this before, so it must be due to all the grief and loss and heartbreak and anger and whatnot
he starts by sobbing over Obi Wan’s supposedly dead body for a solid two hours when Obi gets shot down. “LOOK at him, so cold and Lifeless. D: HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND FULL OF LIFE, SNIPS. I know last week I checked his pulse because he was meditating so calmly I thought he passed away in his sleep, BUT HE’S USUALLY SO WARM AND FULL OF LIFE.”
It goes on until Anakin has finished everything on his painstakingly written Outline from last night. At least half of Coruscant hears part of this speech. Mace sends Obi the security footage later, at a time he knows Anakin will be there to sit through it with Obi, because if we had to suffer then you do too, Obi Wan.
then at the funeral, Anakin pulls out a twenty foot scroll of real actual paper, because he would appreciate this, I think, and clears his throat loudly and messily before telling the council that he has prepared a few words for the greatest jedi this order, nay, this GALAXY has ever seen, and will ever see, no matter how long any of us live—
five hours later,, he’s still going strong. half the eulogy is Terrible and V Cringeworthy, but the other half is actually v heartfelt and moving. even Mace and Yoda have to blink away some tears.
it becomes easier after Anakin starts going into Unnecessary Details about obi wan’s life, like how he’ll miss holding onto those heavy 327 thread count woolen robes when he’s saving obi’s ass (curvature 48.5 degrees) for the 23094th time, and how he’ll never see a more sincere expression of Compassion than he saw when reading line 83 of Obi Wan’s eighth letter to Duchess Satine last month, quoted now as follows—
Ahsoka enlists Plo Koon’s help and they finally shuffle him over to the side, promising him they can finish his fake eulogy at the council dinner tonight. Obi Wan’s death may be fake, but MY WORDS ARE REAL, SNIPS, HOW DARE YOU. says Anakin, before he (a little gleefully) starts destroying the walls to show how Emotionally Compromised he is over this 100% real death.
he takes the 212th drinking, after having told all of them, too. so now there are 293637 men crying about Obi Wan (relatable af, y/y), all of which have the acting talent of a wilted blade of grass. there are 283747 toasts, and every single person there cries for each and every one of them, despite everyone knowing obi is still alive
All of this has the unlikely effect of making Palpatine rethink his plans, because he was expecting rage and barely concealed hate, not this melodramatic weepiness. Oh the angry lashing out is expected, but maybe Skywalker isn’t as ready as he thought… Still, at least Kenobi is out of the picture now.
Dooku is completely convinced. Obi-Wan faking his death and not telling Skywalker? Believable. But a performance this bad is something someone of Kenobi’s calibre would never risk – no, this is no farce and Skywalker is apparently just that infantile.
20k+ pls and thank
20k+ just for the uncut funeral scene, the rest of Anakin’s histrionics take up at least another 25k on their own, please get to work on this soon, fandom.
BLACK VEIL AND BLACK LACE HANDKERCHIEF ARE NOT NEGOTIONABLE.
If Anakin has to mourn, he’ll go full Sicillan Widow.
Ah but we cannot forget the memento mori! The lock of hair kept close to his heart in a cameo locket depicting Obi-Wan’s profile on the cover (Anakin of course refuses to cut his own until his first year of mourning is done). Or the carved ebony frame with skull and rose motifs that hold holos of them looking dashing together. And the beautifully decorated box that holds his lightsaber so that it will be forever on display to those who miss him (there’s a lovely point in the funeral where Anakin hands the box to Satine with great ceremony and she makes a heart moving speech about how no one set of hands could encompass Obi-Wan’s great love and passes it to Ahsoka who passes it to Cody and then we get the strangest game of pass the parcel ever until it makes it back to Anakin).
When Obi-Wan asks “How was my funeral?” He is met by hysterical laughing from Yoda and the loudest groan he has ever heard from Made.
The worst thing is – when Anakin burst into sobs – he’s genuine, despite all that funeral fashionista nonsense. His elegy for Kenobi is just so good and moving and sad and longing and full of Unspoken Feelings. Not a single eye is dry. Even YODA STARTS SOBBING AND HE’S BEEN ON THE THING FOR THE WHOLE TIME.
All Obi’s holos have digitally added black ribons in the corner.
Anakin insists on having trizna (a funeral feast) in his master’s memory, a glorious affair full of wine and mead. If he weren’t so sure that burning a ship with all of his worldly possesions was pushing it a bit too far (regardless that the possessions were Obi-Wan’s who was still, technically, alive and would probably be very pissed if Anakin torched what little he has), he’d be the one with a gas can and a torch.
Mace is just glad he managed to hide the holocron on Space!Egyptian funeral practices.
The best part is, Obi Wan comes back and Anakin refuses to go out of mourning. He does it properly too, first black, then grey and lavender. Obi Wan is like is this necessary? And Anakin is like YES OBVIOUSLY HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK THAT MASTER???!!!
“I miss him… so much. Sometimes, I swear, I feel his presence. That familiar warmth, his cologne. There are days I can glimpse his face behind the Veil. I hear him, calling for me, whispering my name. In a way, he’s still alive in my heart.”
“Anakin, I’m standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.”
“Why can’t his spirit go on? What holds him so chained to this miserable plane of existance? Master, where art thou?”
“For fucks sake, Anakin…”
LOOOOOOOOOOL, and you know Ahsoka gets in on the fun as well. Both of them refuse to talk to Obi Wan directly except through seances. When they get called before the council they have “episodes” where the “sense the presence of an unquiet spirit.” Sometimes they have exorcisms where they attempt to “put Obi Wan’s wandering spirit to rest.” Obi Wan is so tired. Everyone else thinks it’s hilarious.
The exorcism involves the use copious use incense (a light floral fragrance), offerings to the dead (in the form of delicate cups of steaming tea and accompanying sweets), ritual chanting (aka soft singing) and forcible removal of the ghost to its final resting place (his quarters). All in all it does a rather good job of forcing the poor spirit to rest !😉
The best incident however comes during the big reveal where, on facing Dooku on Naboo Anakin loudly declares that he is not outnumbered, for his dear Master’s spirit is right beside him! And Dooku starts on a spiel about how his weak willed dependency on Kenobi has finally turned him mad, except there’s a blue lightsaber at his throat and a familiar smirk asking if the Count had missed him on his little sojourn to the underworld…
AHAHAHAHAHA putting a spirit to rest takes on a whole new meaning!!!! What if the 212th gets in on it? The first time Cody tosses a ration bar at Obi Wan’s head and starts walking around Obi Wan singing the ‘time for all spirits to lay down and rest’ song, Obi Wan knows that he’s doomed. XD
This is hilarious.
And the best thing would be that when finally Anakin leaves mourning and Obi-Wan Returns ™, it is a galactic wide event of celebration. “The Force has returned him to us,” Anakin reports.
When Palpatine is defeated and it comes out what really happened, Anakin’s eulogy and mourning is nominated for Best Actor in all the holo award shows (never mind that he isn’t an actor and Obi-Wan’s death wasn’t scripted), and Anakin wins. He takes the stage and give his acceptance speech which of course includes him telling the galaxy that he still misses Obi-Wan and “sometimes I can still hear his voice.” And Obi-Wan who is Anakin’s plus one for this event yells from the audience “Because I’m not dead, Anakin!”
For the rest of his life, Obi-Wan deals with people assuming he is dead and who are surprised to hear he is alive. It becomes the biggest conspiracy theory. Is Obi-Wan dead or alive? There are huge fights even amount academics about whether he is or isn’t.
When Obi-Wan finally does pass into the Force of old age, for decades afterwards people swear he’s still alive and kicking.
OH GOD YES. The reports on ObiWan’s age vary between 5 to 458. Having a babyface doesn’t help at all. Having Yoda as great-grandmaster doesn’t help either. There are theories about corellation between Yoda’s height and Obi’s height.
OBI-WAN’S RETURN is, of course, accompanied by Clone Army Choir providing Hopeful Latin Chanting ™ to underline the hopeful atmosphere. His face is for a few weeks the most famous in the whole galaxy.
(And Anakin throws away the lavender lace veil. His mourning is at its end!)
(”I should have never told him about the undercover mission,” Kenobi grumbles.)
UPDATE: There’s now a newer, better version of this flowchart, with more species, more resources, etc. You can check it out here!
I’ve heard from a lot of people that, when making a Star Wars OC, they get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of species and they have trouble choosing just one. So, at 3am about a week ago, I had the idea to put together a flowchart to help make that decision easier! I picked out 75 different species, both the well-known and the more obscure from both canon and legends, and grouped them by everything from the shape of their horns to the number of arms they have. I tried my best to have it be coherent and make sense, so hopefully there’s some use for it!
Links to info and (for some) videos showing off the species are below the cut. Some species have less than others to go off of, so I apologize in advance if I can’t find much. Hope this helps, though! 😀
Look I would pay real currency to watch a series of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s couples counseling. The angst and the passive-aggressiveness and the “I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine” “NO IT’S NOT OBI-WAN NOTHING IS FINE”. Or individual Jedi counseling.
Better: I want to watch the documentary/mockumentary made by a GFFA psychologist who embeds themselves with the Jedi Order to better understand how they can all be so chill and collected – What’s their secret? How can we all learn, from their example, to embrace serenity in our own lives? – who eventually, as the documentary wears on, comes to realize that THE JEDI ORDER IS COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECKS.
I am living for this now. As @
devilangel657 said, the idea of a psychologist embedding themselves in the Jedi Order and having to listen to the stories of the stupidity the Jedi have to deal with every goddamned day in their roles as peacekeepers and later freeing worlds, would be amazing.
They’re so serene and calm and put together when you first meet them! Then, like, a month later, “YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I HAD TO DEAL WITH ON BRENTAL. LET’S JUST SAY IF I HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER FUCKING PIRATE I AM GOING TO SHOVE A LIGHTSABER UP THEIR ASS BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO SAY A GODDAMNED WORD.” blares through the Force, even when all the Jedi says is, “It was a difficult mission, but I believe it has been resolved to the best of my abilities.”
Obi-Wan and Anakin’s couple’s therapy is a disaster. Sure, Anakin wants to talk about things! Until the psychologist turns to him and tries to make him talk about what’s eating him and then NOTHING IS WRONG, EVERYTHING’S FINE, he says angrily, crossing his arms and glaring.
Obi-Wan looks at the psychologist, not a single hint of self-awareness on his face, like, See what I have to deal with?
YES. Little by little, all these things come out and eventually it becomes clear that A) the Jedi have to put up with a TON of the universe’s bullshit, B) there are a LOT of secret affairs going on, both within and outside of the Order, and C) there is a WHOLE LOT of trauma being actively repressed.
I feel like Mace Windu would be amazing in this documentary series. The interviewer would be like “It sounds like you have a very difficult role, being responsible for so much in the Order. Would you agree?” and he just keeps staring into space like this:
…before finally taking a deep breath and being like, “It is a noble calling, and one I am honored to take on.”
Yoda cancels on his interview like 45 times, or pretends to be napping or dead when the guy shows up, because He Really Doesn’t Wanna Talk About This Stuff Everyone Knows The Order Is Just Fine Look How Well-Adjusted We All Are.
Quinlan Vos does his interview from a bar, during which he becomes increasingly inebriated. His interview turns into him just bragging about various conquests or awesome parties he’s been to on undercover missions. Viewers love him.
Obi-Wan explains to the horrified interviewer that he really totally wasn’t traumatized by being sent away to be a space farmer when he was 12, or the fact that he once got a rock for his birthday, or that his Space Dad was murdered in front of him. And that things between him and Anakin are FINE.
The two of them don’t realize they’re still mic’d up when they try to “discuss” things in the hallway in between filming after a particularly pointed on-screen argument. The resulting audio includes lecturing (Obi-Wan), dramatic yelling (Anakin), retreading of very old arguments (both), and eventually some mild dirty talk, which they vehemently deny later even though they both have mussed up hair when they return.
Ahsoka’s interview is hilarious, since it is mostly just her telling stories about Anakin or Obi-Wan embarrassing themselves.She manages to come off as one of the most competent people in the entire show despite the fact that she’s like 15. She instantly becomes a favorite of viewer commentators on the Holonet.
Some of the Clones get interviewed about what it’s like to work with the Jedi. This turns into all of them sharing “most insane thing my Jedi has done” stories, and it results in 157 hours of footage. They end up with their own series.
Chancellor Palpatine also does an extended interview as one of the Jedi’s closest colleagues, in which he repeatedly has to take a break from filming because he keeps breaking out into inappropriate giggles as he discusses how insightful the Order is, and what great partners they’ve been for his administration in helping it to achieve its goals.
I am crying at that screencap of Mace, that’s exactly the face he’d make.
“The Jedi aren’t perfect, we have our difficulties, just as anyone else in the galaxy does,” they all say. “But we deal with them internally to the best of our abilities. We’ve agreed to this documentary as a gesture of good will, we hope to reach out to our fellow Republic citizens and show that we are as human as any of you.”
What they don’t say is FUCK OFF WE DEAL WITH OUR PROBLEMS OURSELVES, but you kind of get that impression anyway. And the first half of the documentary is this build-up towards the idea that the Jedi are totally fucked up, they’re all a bunch of lunatics who refuse to admit they actually have problems.
But then the second half of the documentary has, like, 300 hours of footage of the Jedi dealing with two warring clans on some Mid-Rim world, each willing to nuke themselves into orbit just to spite the other side, and the Jedi have to deal with literal tantrums from political leaders at least once a month and they have to see politicians living these ridiculous lives of luxury, they have space caviar flown in specially hand delivered while ¾ths of their world are literally starving in poverty, and still have to smile and make nice with said politician because otherwise they won’t be able to get this trade agreement signed that will help the rest of the world, and all the while they’re not allowed to scream obscenities or anything. And you start to realize, oh, shit, I’d have gone off the deep end, too, if I had to deal with that every day of my life.
The documentary works in a roundabout way, endearing people to them–it shows the Jedi being human, that one time they caught Luminara Unduli making the most amazing bitch face, just for a moment, before she managed to smooth it back over. They caught Obi-Wan Kenobi actually swearing one time! They have at least an hour’s worth of outtakes of Anakin Skywalker flying around on his droid and crashing face-first into a wall or swanning off the top of the Temple and screaming when he misses the speeder Master Kenobi is driving to try to snag him the first time!
“It was a bit of a close call,” Anakin Skywalker says with a grin, “But I had it totally under control.” (Smash cut to Anakin screaming and flailing as story after story of the Temple blurs by him as he falls while Obi-Wan zips the speeder around for a second try.)
There’s a collage of the Greatest Faces Ahsoka Tano Makes When Dealing With Republic Officials. Almost unanimously, the face she makes when Wilhuff Tarkin turns away from her are voted as #1.
There’s also entire sites dedicated to gossiping about the love lives of the Jedi. The HoloNet EXPLODES when Obi-Wan and Anakin are caught on mic making suggestive comments after their fight, because everyone thought FOR SURE Skywalker was involved with Senator Amidala, have you SEEN the way he makes cow eyes at her? There are threads and threads of HA AH VINDICATION!!! from Obikin shippers and NO WAY THIS IS JUST PART OF A THREESOME shippers.
(Everyone, please forgive me this enormous reblog. I think you all understand I have no choice.)
So, basically this is what’s going to foil Palpatine’s plans, isn’t it? He is kicking himself, because he actually urged the Jedi to do the documentary series in the first place, thinking that they’d come off as totally dogmatic, dispassionate weirdos and the Republic would be turned off, making it easier for him to push his “The Jedi Are Evil” spiel later.
Instead, as the series wears on, everyone finds them oddly charming, and is overwhelmed by how hard they work and the good they do. There’s all kinds of forums set up for the inevitable Jedi Order Fandom as people nitpick every detail the show reveals. The gossip is out of control. Ahsoka can’t go anywhere without an interviewer asking her about the state of her “dads”’ relationship. Padme is hounded by the tabloids every time someone thinks they saw her out with Anakin somewhere (and OMG IS THAT A BABY BUMP??! WHAT IS OBI-WAN GONNA THINK?! Wait, is OBI-WAN the father???!). Hondo Ohnaka, of course, uses this as a chance to make some money, and is constantly trying to sell outlandish stories about his “friends” the Jedi to the tabloids.
A couple of systems start petty disputes with each other just to get a Jedi and some clones to visit, and they start placing requests (”Can you guys send Luminara? We LOVE her, OMG. Also is Fives available?”) Even Yoda, who was hesitant to even participate, becomes somewhat beloved in his own right as the series’ grumpy, long-suffering grandpa, once viewers see how much insanity the poor guy’s been living with for hundreds of years.
I am very sorry to everyone that this is making your dash probably a lot to handle today, but you have to understand that this is what I joined Star Wars tumblr for.
Palpatine is so gleeful at first, look how awful the Jedi look, even though he’s pushing that, oh, they work so hard and they’re so talented and amazing! But then the memes start. LET OBI-WAN KENOBI HAVE A NAP. SOMEONE FEED THAT POOR CHILD AHSOKA TANO A REAL SANDWICH. AND GET HER A JACKET SHE LOOKS COLD. There are floating, spinning star crows attached to Anakin Skywalker’s head in holo pictures and vids. There’s a picture of Master Yoda making a face as he trips and it gets plastered all over the internet. Mace Windu strikes a dramatic pose after a battle and it’s caught on holo, people splash motivational wolf-style quotes over the image. The most popular of which is, “WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU. IS GOING TO DIE.” while Master Windu stands there with a >:| face and his lightsaber at the ready.
There starts to be knockoff Jedi merchandise. Toy lightsabers are a huge hit! So many people are much nicer to the Jedi now and are like, “Are you comfortable? Can I get you a blanket? You’ve probably had a hard day, here have a slice of pie, on the house.”
REQUESTING SPECIFIC JEDI. Of course The Team gets the most requests (Anakin is initially pleased by this, but then there are people flirting with Obi-Wan. WHO IS FLIRTING BACK. And knows exactly what he’s doing and keeps glancing at Anakin to see the effect of it because he’s a jerk who likes to rile people up. NOT THAT IT’S WORKING, OBI-WAN.) but Shaak Ti and Luminara Unduli prove surprisingly popular, everyone just falls in love with them. The clones, finally having the perfect audience for this, are MORE THAN HAPPY to tell everyone about the Most Insane Thing Their Jedi Has Done. Rex and Cody are no longer allowed to participate, in order to give everyone else a fair shot.
There are fandom wars over whether the fact that Obi-wan flirts with EVERYONE makes the Obikinmidala three-way MORE or LESS likely. “Hello there” becomes code for “I am flirting with you now” overnight. Clone naming conventions start to become popular with new parents and teens get their hair/ hair equivalent styled like their favorite clone commanders.
On the political side, the average Republic citizen starts getting savvier. Seeing their favorite Jedi deal with these Senate officials and obstinate planetary governors, day in and day out, energizes populations to organize more effectively. The Jedi are unsure how to feel about this at first, but its nice to have the added leverage when dealing with particularly reticent political figures.
Elan Sleazebaggano (of Death Stick fame) is Obi’s biggest fan. After he gets his life rethought, he becomes a community organizer in the fandom, trying to do for others what his favorite Jedi did for him
Okay so there are so many things to love here. Mace Windu’s FACE, Yoda memes, Luminara Unduli’s Jedi composure slipping, Anakin and Obi Wan being actual human messes, Poor Ahsoka, the only sane person in a literal mad house, the clones… Can you imagine how smug Rex and Cody are?
Obi Wan: goes to do something hilariously ExtraTM.
Cody: Arms crossed casually, face completely blank. “Ahem”
Obi Wan: Looks at him… “If I do this, you’re going to tell the entire Republic won’t you?”
Cody: Raises eyebrow. “What do you think?”
Obi Wan: “Ah, well,” looks almost sheepish. “What do you suggest, Commander?”
Cody: Deadpan “You’re learning.”
But we are missing some hilarious potential here… So you guys know how bad Padme and Anakin are at pretending they don’t know intimate details about each other/covering their asses/being remotely subtle? Well, once a film crew is following Anakin around on a semi-regular basis, they get even worse.
For example, Anakin, Padme, Obi Wan, and Ahsoka are sent on a diplomatic mission together, documentary crew accompanying. They all board Anakin’s ship and there’s a lovely lace outer robe lying in a crumpled heap on the copilot seat from when Anakin and Padme made their last Dramatic Escape from a senatorial function (”I thought you said you were in danger?” “I was- a few more minutes and I’d have DIED of boredom.”) Anakin snatches it up and shoves it into his robes.
“SO THAT’S WHERE I LEFT MY FORMAL ROBES. OBI WAN WILL BE SO PLEASED.” and then he turns bright red because he just implied that Obi Wan will be really happy to see him in a undersized, lacy robe, which is true but not the impression he intended to give the viewing public. Padme breaks a rib suppressing her laughter. The psychiatrist and crew just roll their eyes and wonder why they’re even keeping up the pretense of deception.
Or, the crew just keep on finding mugs of half-drunk tea with lipstick marks in Padme’s distinctive signature shade
”They’re Ahsoka’s,” Anakin blurts out.
Ahsoka, who is there and not wearing a single smidge of lipstick looks at the camera, looks at Padme’s lipstick covered lips, looks back at the camera. Everyone turns to Padme. She looks around the ship. Anakin hasn’t cleaned it in months. There is exposed wiring from the last time Anakin started “improving” it and then got distracted. It smells like sweaty man and teenager and curry.
“I really enjoy the ambiance?” She offers. “It’s very… relaxed.” A muffled snort comes from the vicinity of Ahsoka. Anakin, who is standing next to her, steps on her foot. Ahsoka punches Anakin in the shoulder, hard. Obi Wan folds his arms and does his only sane man routine, which the psychiatrist and the documentary team now knows is Made of Lies and Deception.
This lasts until the team catches him sitting with Padme and Anakin in the cockpit, giving Padme a foot massage while Anakin drives.
“It’s a Jedi’s duty to do what is needed.” He explains repressively. “The Senator had a cramp. I did it for democracy.”
Despite all this fun it is a small subgenre of the Jedi fandom who end up having the greatest impact – the conspiracy theorists.
See, in among the “Kenobi is secretly a Space Siren”, “Skywalker is the avatar of entropy” and “the Jedi don’t die but merely change their forms and continue to save the galaxy under a new name” theories there are a smaller subset who are driven by the desperate need to uncover the truth of the war so that the Jedi can go back to spending more time with fans planets in need of their expertise. Everyone thinks they’re nuts. Until they don’t.
It starts as a post on a forum with user k3n0b15w00shyh41r ranting about how the war so obviously benefits the military industrial complex, and why has no one ever investigated Kamino for separatist links? User winduismygod93 points out that’s an excellent question, and wait a moment, why exactly were the clones commissioned in the first place? I mean, it was convenient, but could you really see masters Yoda or Windu authorising the creation of sentient beings for war? User 5tone9arden agrees – could this be a smear campaign? User masspalooza posits that it was a false flag operation by the Sith, and after a bit of digging user 5ith7i9ht uncovers the Sifo Dyas link – a known associate of the traitor Dooku? They’re on to something. User blankdayzii is concerned about sabotage when user xxx_t4N0_xxx points out a strange bit of footage from the latest episode of “Craziest things my Jedi has done!!! – Series 3, of a clone looking suddenly disoriented and shaking his head while muttering. User y0dAts4w3sm obsessively scans footage for more case into a compilation holovid. But it is user shaak_pronounsaresirandgeneral_ti who comes to the final conclusion: mind control. This is urgent! What if the Sith are secretly implanting sleeper agents into republic forces to shift the tides of war!!! It probably wouldn’t have gone any further, except user 0biAn1da7a689 turns out to actually be the Senator for a minor system in the Mid-Rim and raises the issue in open debate…
The Kaminoans rebut the accusations – some clones have occasional reactions to their aggression control chips! Which are perfectly safe from tampering because they put them in prior to deployment are you some kind of CIS sympathiser trying to undermine our brave troops senator?
Some reporter bails up the nearest Jedi for comment and oh, wouldn’t you know it? It’s General Skywalker! Here to see Senator Amidala for midweek nookie on Jedi business! Whose first response is “Chips? WHAT CHIPS?” followed by a litany of curses so vile even the reporter from the Nal Hutta Tribune is impressed. After Anakin’s brain reboots he does what he does best and angrily descends upon Obi-Wan demanding they free the clones immediately!
And that is how Palpatine had a very bad day and the Jedi fandom saved their heroes from a future full of loneliness and sand.😉
(yes there are references to some of you in the forum bit – @forcearama should be obvious but there are at least 3 more 😏)
People, I’m sorry this is a gigantic post now but I just want you guys to see this.
Am I the only one who remembers that time a padawan was whining about how Yoda doesn’t have any feelings and Yoda was like, “Excuse you, I have been burying loved ones for sixty times longer than you have been alive, lecture me about grief do not.”
face as he trips and it gets plastered all over the internet. Mace Windu strikes a dramatic pose after a battle and it’s caught on holo, people splash motivational wolf-style quotes over the image. The most popular of which is, “WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU. IS GOING TO DIE.” while Master Windu stands there with a >:| face and his lightsaber at the ready.
Steel Phoenix Studios 