Those old “Oh Chuck Norris is so strong he could beat up anyone.” memes from like 2007 are so fucking dumb. Like, I could name off at least 20 or so people that could kick his ass, for example;
Gandalf the Gray
Gandalf the White
Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Night
Benito Mussolini
Blue Meanie
Cowboy Curtis
Jambi the Genie
Robocop
The Terminator
Captain Kirk
Darth Vader
Lo-Pan
Superman
Every single Power Ranger
Bill S Preston
Theodore Logan
Spock
The Rock
Doc Oc
Hulk Hogan
I can’t think of anymore but please feel free to add on
y’all need to wake up and realize Facebook is not your friend they don’t give a fuck about abuse on their website, the website is so obviously an excuse to spy on everyone and steal/sell their information. They don’t care about us.
The European Parliament voted against the Copyright Directive in a 318-278 vote. It will be debated in full in September leading to a new proposal. We won this battle, but the war is not over yet.
Wait is this real? Because I’ve just seen another post saying it’s been approved, but maybe that one was a bit older?
a japanese guy who made a bunch of creepy pasta videos a long time ago (you’ve probably seen Youtube666, he made that) is playing through minecraft for the first time and he’s not using any guides or anything other than the in-game guidebook and he’s fucking. doing it in such a buddhist way.
like, he’s so patient and detached from all of the stuff he’s gotten.
in the newest episode he destroyed 14566 blocks of bridge and blew up his original house just because he learned about xyz coordinates by accidentally pressing F5 and he wanted his house to be at the X:0 coordinate.
also look at this quarry. it’s his 5th quarry.
look at this absolute fucking massive hole.
and it’s not like “HELLOOOOO EVERYBODY WHAT IS UP, TODAY WE’RE GONNA BE PLAYING MIIIIIINECRAAAAFT” he’s just like. a quiet 30 year old japanese man who speaks very precisely and politely. and he even does his own english captions which are overlayed on the video and he uses emoticons like (0u0)/
he’s so wonderful and cute.
please watch at least like 5 minutes of this.
i PROMISE you you’ll smile.
i thought literally everyone else forgot about nana825763 i love their ant raising videos
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
Client: “Open what?”
Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
Client: “My…my…?”
Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”
Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”
Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”
Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”
Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”
Me: “No, ma’am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”
Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”
Me: “We…okay, ma’am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”
Client: “My what?”
Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now – it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”
Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”
Me: “An error message?”
Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”
Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”
Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.”
Client: “Move it?”
Me: “Yes. Move it.”
Client: “My e-mail!”
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.
So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”
And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.
And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.
She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.
But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.
She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up – I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.
When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.
And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”
And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.
Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.
^ thank you for sharing this very positive experience because the experience from OP really gave me a headache. it was nice to end on a positive note.. gives hope
This is enough. Ajit Pai has already succeded MULTIPLE TIMES and you can expect the full removal of net neutrality on APRIL 23RD OF THIS YEAR. We can still contact our senators, we can still fight as hrd as we can, but even though 23 states are suposedly suing for the repeal of this, we need to help it along.
In case people forgot what Net Neutrality is: it is a series of laws that ensure everyone free and fair access to the internet. Without them, you will be charged for the sites you use on top of an already high internet bill. This means creators like us cannot post and be seen. Thia means that smaller schools will havebto switch to out of date text books. This means that starter IT projects that could make our lives better will die because noone can support an online presence that noone can afford to see.
And the list goes on and on and on. I have frienda who have to make their livings through commissions and working online because of multiple health issues. I have friends trying to publish books, post art, post voice acting snippets that will not be seen without these laws.
Please support Net Neutrality and contact your senators!!! This is so important to everyone you know, AND WE JUST NEED ONE SENATOR TO TURN THE TIDE!!!
Did anyone notice how quickly the internet turned into a
Lovecraftian horror scenario?
Like we’ve got this dimension right next to ours, that
extends across the entire planet, and it is just brimming with nightmares. We
have spambots, viruses, ransomware, this endless legion of malevolent entities
that are blindly probing us for weaknesses, seeking only to corrupt, to thieve,
to destroy.
Add onto that the corrupted ones themselves, humans who’ve
abandoned morality and given up faces to hunt other people, jeering them,
lashing out, seeing how easy it is to kill something you can’t touch or see or
smell. They’ll corrupt anything they think could be a vessel for their message
and they’ll jabber madly at any who question them. Their chittering haunts
every corner of the internet. They are not unlike the spambots in some ways.
Add on top of that the arcane magisters, who are forever
working at the cracks between our world and the world we made. Some of them do
it for fun, some of them do it for wealth, others do it for the power of
nations unwise enough to trust them. There are mages who work to defend against
this particular evil, but they are mad prophets, and their advice is almost
never heeded, even by those who keep them as protection.
All people know several spells to use the internet. Facebook
asks you for the magic words to log in, so does your email, so does your
twitter and on and on. The spells are words or a gesture with the hand, some
use the colour of your eyes, or the shape of your finger. Our chief of security
joked about requiring users to give a drop of blood before they could log in.
Many do not understand the humour of mages.
The cracks between the two are breaking. IP cameras filled
our world with eyes and the magisters learned how to open almost all of them.
We all carry magic slabs of glass that if you hold it up to your ear can sing to
you with a loved one’s voice, but if you look at it with your eyes, can show
you a corrupted human with bleeding orange skin scream the profane with a
thousand voices. The other day I saw someone hack a moving vehicle. At one
point they made it stop. At another they made it so it couldn’t stop. Some of our best and brightest are going to create
an army of four winged bats hovering throughout every city and we are going to
connect them directly to the dimension where the nightmares live.
I’m not saying it’s all bad, but I am saying Cthulhu lies
deathless dreaming in this web we built him and he is waking up.
if you’ve spent your adolescence in the darker and more profane areas of this web you sure as hell don’t develop normal human appetites, that’s for damn sure. you wind up with a hunger for a lot more tentacles than humans are normally equipped with.
My dash refreshed from this post TO this post when i opened the app
Add to this the post about how Tumblr is like Fairyland: payment can be given in stories and you don’t give out your true name.
Not to mention lies and double meanings and speaking in tongues. You’ve got 1337 and memes and strange written only dialects of English. What is innocent in one place is cursed knowledge in another. A hundred thousand people talking in coded languages while dynasties of corruption try to learn the language to ensnare hearts and minds for their own goals – gold, everything for the sake of gold – and they employ the best codebreakers to study the words and images as they appear but they’re always a step behind and new words are made to mock those who try to understand the ever changing patterns, and someone’s JOB is to sift through it all, and Denny’s has made itself a purgatory of its very own.
Help fight for Net Neutrality and use Resistbot if you live in the US to send a message to your representative in Congress, it takes less than 2 minutes!
Steel Phoenix Studios 