the signs as hockey goalies

Aries : The goalie who always tries to start fights
Taurus : The backup goalie who spends his game singing “That Should Be Me”
Gemini : The loud goalie who always sings the national anthem even though they suck and annoys the whole team
Cancer : The bad goalie who plays in an elite team so no one notices they’re awful
Leo : The goalie who gets absolutely trashed before games and ends up falling in their own crease like twelve times
Virgo : The rookie goalie who cries in the shower after every loss
Libra : The goalie who doesn’t give a shit and literally just sits in the crease the whole game
Scorpio : The goalie who spits on the ice every ten seconds
Sagittarius : The goalies who’s obsessed with Instagram and takes pictures of his setup every week
Capricorn : The goalie with a thousand superstitions
Aquarius : The goalie who just /knows/ they’re good and winks at the rival team after every save like a cocky piece of shit.
Pisces : The weird, quiet goalie who probably has already killed a man but they’re good so no one says a thing.