ushistorytrash:

givemeunicorns:

naphula:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

i-run-a-trash-blog:

marvxel:

james-wessley:

kanthia:

stitch-n-time:

thing-for-ferryboats:

sirl33te:

asexualmagneto:

danray002:

simaraknows:

gilbertbielschmidt:

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

scientia-rex:

lizardtitties:

fierceawakening:

mapelie:

americanninjax:

adulthoodisokay:

“The Devil Went Down To Georgia” White Trash Washing Machine Cover

That’s just. Amazing.

AWESOMENESS

this is awesome

This is literally the futuristic version of washboard music. Is that not just fucking amazing? We had dudes playing washboards to accompany music since the early days of blues and zydeco and today we’re sitting here watching someone using a washing machine in the exact same way. Imagine being some old fella playing a washboard with thimbles in a little jug-and-tea-chest outfit back in the 20s, imagine if someone told you that in about 100 years time, some kid would be using a machine that will replace the washboard to serve the exact same purpose.

This shit is why I’m such a giant music nerd.

washboard electronica

English Has a New Preposition, Because Internet

everydayechos:

pagerunner:

bripopsicle:

cubstearns:

linguafandom:

However it originated, though, the usage of “because-noun” (and of “because-adjective” and “because-gerund”) is one of those distinctly of-the-Internet, by-the-Internet movements of language. It conveys focus (linguist Gretchen McCulloch: “It means something like ‘I’m so busy being totally absorbed by X that I don’t need to explain further, and you should know about this because it’s a completely valid incredibly important thing to be doing’”). It conveys brevity (Carey: “It has a snappy, jocular feel, with a syntactic jolt that allows long explanations to be forgone” “It has a snappy, jocular feel, with a syntactic jolt that allows long explanations to be forgone”).

But it also conveys a certain universality. When I say, for example, “The talks broke down because politics,” I’m not just describing a circumstance. I’m also describing a category. I’m making grand and yet ironized claims, announcing a situation and commenting on that situation at the same time. I’m offering an explanation and rolling my eyes — and I’m able to do it with one little word. Because variety. Because Internet. Because language.

Reblogging. Because linguistics.

@howdoyoutmblr

I thought to myself ‘because… boomerangs’ about two sentences in, but you beat me to it. 

English Has a New Preposition, Because Internet

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

sisterofiris:

nuttersincorporated:

fierceawakening:

immodea:

fierceawakening:

I want villains who go against the stereotypical bullshit that “evil cannot love” or whatever.

I want villains who spend months in their creepy dark lab building the death ray with their best buddy and hug each other when the superweapon is finally complete.

I want villains who fall madly in love with the other evil prince or princess they married to consolidate their power.

I want villains who tell bedtime stories to the little clone they created to be the successor to their throne and order their minions to get the clone a cup of warm milk because she can’t sleep.

I want villains hanging out with their best friends and acting like dorks while they bowl with their enemies’ skulls.

I want villains who are both evil and real, and real people have friends and families and loved ones.

Do you mean heroes?

No.

How do you get heroes from this!? What hero goes bowling
with the skulls of their enemies?

I want
villains with families.

I want
mad scientists helping their children with their science homework.

I want villains leaving halfway though a battle because it’s
their anniversary and they are not going to leave their spouse waiting.

I want villains who don’t work on Wednesdays because that’s
the day they visit their mum and take her out for tea.

I want villains who hypnotise teachers to give their
children good grades.

This reminds me of a series of recordings I made once as a joke…

Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown was talking about careers in class, and she asked me what you do.

Villain (in a deep, growling voice): I watch the world burn.

Child: Yeah, but I think she meant as a job?

Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown gave me detention again.

Villain: Let me fetch my gasoline.

Child: Um, Daddy, I’m not sure that…

Villain: Fire is the only way.

Villain: Ella, what is wrong? Are you crying?

Child: Josh said I’m ugly.

Villain: Ella, you are more beautiful than the screams of agony of a thousand enemies as I set them aflame.

Minion: Master, the elementary school has breached our security control and broken into our intercom system. They wish to negotiate with you regarding your daughter’s grades.

Villain: Negotiate? There is no negotiation. There is only repentance, or death.

Minion: Very well, master. Also, your daughter requests a bedtime story.

Villain: Tell her I am coming at once.

Minion: Master, why are your cape and robes… pink?

Villain: It is my daughter’s birthday today.

Minion: But what about darkness and evil, master?

Villain: The covenant of darkness is lesser than the covenant of fatherhood, Gerald.

You guys need to read Shannon K Garrity’s Narbonic. Completed webcomic available in book form (2 collections of the original 6). This will satisfy everything you’re talking about and it’s basically awesome.

lukarts:

ssorobo:

vahllen:

grizzlymom:

gohth:

skate and die.

@lexiwuff

These came from Braille Skateboarding’s Youtube Channel. They take whatever the fuck they can get, stick trucks and wheels on them, and try to skate with it.

They’ve tried skating a skateboard made of concrete;

A skateboard with a bunch of Hot Wheels cars instead of proper wheels;

and a door;

4 STARS CHECK IT OUT

now, I was expecting a lot of things but…

I can safely say, I did NOT expect THAT.

mickmercury:

inficetegodwottery:

mickmercury:

well this oughta be a wild class

holy shit

#i want to be jealous as hell but im almost afraid to ask what class that is#17776

materiality/sociology of text

like, books/texts as objects, and how we interact with them, and how they are transmitted, and their place in/effect on society, and how those things change in different times and places, and how texts themselves change and evolve

its p rad