Tag: this

chocolatebatons:

thesnadger:

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase. 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

  1. Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.
  2. Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
  3. Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

THIS^

I can rubber stamp this as something I have learned as an Adult, too. 

afatblackfairy:

spacialfries:

rudefeminist:

my opinions on racism will always be limited as I’m from a position of white privilege, so whilst it’s so important to call out racial inequality and oppression when I see it, it’s also important for me to recognise that my voice should not shout over those who have actually experienced racism and have a far better understanding of how it operates then I ever will

so many people on tumblr dont seem to get this

All my white followers take a gander

elf-fury:

hollowedskin:

totallynotagentphilcoulson:

19soundofsirens86:

highacetate:

Good pub advice.

We need to bring this back.

It’s really worrisome when the fucking Victorians understood something like this better than half the modern population tbh

the fucking code of victorian gentlemen would never allow ‘but im a gentleman’ whining which always makes it extra funny to me.

Right because the amount of times I’ve rejected guys and been asked “why? Are you a lesbian or something? Am I ugly? Why not!” is staggering

rebel-timelord:

wetwareproblem:

wetwareproblem:

Unfriendly fucking reminder that the best predictor of mass shootings is not mental illness, but being an angry young white man who has recently experienced rejection and has easy access to guns.

Bringing this back because it makes terrible people angry. And I’ll add a note to all the people saying “But you’d have to be mentally ill to do that!”: Mental illness is, by definition, abnormal. Does “mediocre white boy is so entitled that he resorts to violence when told no” really sound particularly unusual to you?

I devoted my entire graduate studies and thesis on mass school shootings, multiple murderers, and criminal psychology and I can tell you that this is in fact completely true and is suported by an unbelievable amount of emperical, quantifiable data that I slaved over for years. 💯

kdotjay-draws-and-reblogs:

lesbophobes:

toxicrants:

My kink is husbands & wives who are still portrayed as very much in love with each other, because even after years of commitment and kids, they still talk to each other, go on fun random adventures and try new things. No resentment. No portrayal of marriage as a chore. Just actual love.

yikes who’s even into men and women being in relationships anymore

oh my god just make your own post no one cares

i-love-word-association-games:

brainfuzz:

i-love-word-association-games:

Can we please stop the White Feminist™ idea that naked = empowered?

Because I had to watch the Muslim girl in my history class lucture the class on Islam’s treatment of women and why she wears her hijab to feel closer to god, because some new girl in our class tried to coerce her into taking it off, and then proceeded to try to take it off her.

I made sure she was alright after class and she told me she’s used to it. I. Got. Pissed. Because this sweet girl is used to other people trying to rip her hijab off. I’m not Muslim, but from what I understand, that’s like being used to people trying to rip your shirt off of you.

Also, this idea doesn’t just threaten and offend Muslim women and girls. Because a lot of women and afab people don’t like being naked. It’s not empowering to them, it’s demeaning. For example, I don’t like being naked, because I just don’t feel comfortable with it. But still, my family still forces me to wear bikinis to the beach and thinks I’m self conscious just because I don’t want to wear the least amount of clothes possible.

So, in summary:

Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

  • Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered
  1. Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

Female empowerment is the ability to chose to behave or dress as you wish.  Hard stop. If you, personally, feel empowered by walking around in public topless, more power to you.  However, if someone else is choosing to be covered from head to toe because that makes them feel empowered, then back the fuck off.  

The power is in the choice, not in the result.

I know I’m the OP but I wanted to reblog for this excellent addition.