okay i have a loki question
how the fuck did odin sneak him into asgard?
like, heimdall saw that shit right? odin comes back through the bifrost and heimdall is just “…………….”
heimdall: that’s a baby
odin: yes! he’s my son! ………..loki. i’m going to dress him in green and black, because that worked great last time
or odin comes back and is trying to figure out, how to play it, and heimdall and frigga are just waiting for him and completely deadpan
frigga: ah, husband! you have returned from war in time to meet your newborn son. who i had. after being pregnant. secretly.
odin: what
frigga:
heimdall:
loki: *baby noises*
odin: right
honestly, i just need heimdall going up to frigga like “you won’t believe what your husband just did”
odin: he’s a replacement for the child I had to lock away in the shadow realm.
heimdall:
odin: I’ll do better by this one. I know I will.
heimdall:
heimdall: You mean Frigga will.
Odin: Please can we keep it? It’s cute and changes colours and smiles at my empty eye socket. I promise I’ll take care of it I’ll feed it every week and I’ll dress it in green and black and I’ll teach it to throw knives and it will be great!
Heimdall: Frigga, he stole a baby. Say something.
THIS IS THE BEST THING
Funny as this is, I think it gives Odin way too much compassion and fatherly skills. I picture it more like this:
Odin: I return to Asgard with the abandoned son of Laufey, who is now our political prisoner.
Heimdall: ……that’s a baby.
Odin: ……..well, yes, technically.
Frigga: …….he’s my son now.
Odin: I’m not sure if –
Frigga: don’t talk to me or my son ever again
Odin: But, Frigga…
Frigga walking away with the baby: You know, for a guy who gave up an eye to have the ability to foresee the future and all that, you really are pretty blind.
Odin: So, I have no depth perception. Sue me.
Heimdall: they wonder why I don’t go to family dinners…
I know a great many followers of Norse religions who believe Odin should’ve gotten his eye back.
ODIN: I have returned victorious! See, I have brought–
FRIGGA: My child.
ODIN: What?
FRIGGA: I’m your wife; if you’re bringing a baby into my bedchamber, it had damn well better be mine.
ODIN: …but this is…
FRIGGA: The next words out of your mouth had better not be, “an innocent baby that I’m going to keep imprisoned for political gain.”
ODIN: …
FRIGGA: Give me my son.
ODIN: …o…kay?
FRIGGA: Better start telling people this is your son, because I assure you I will have no problems telling people this is Laufey’s son.
ODIN: Heimdall! Please announce to the realm that I have a new son!
It keeps getting better….!
Tag: thor
joke: loki has his hair greased down all the time because he’s a greasy boy
woke: loki has his hair greased down all the time because he’s learned since childhood that if his large electric brother thor so much as high-fives him without it being slicked back he’ll be walking around for the rest of the day with it sticking up straight in the air from static, looking like a very frightened cat
i have an idea in my head where thor is just like. painfully incapable of being cissexist.
like some transphobic reporter asks him abt his sexuality and he’s “i have been attracted to many of your midgardian genders” and “what” and “my current paramor is genderqueer” “are they male or female” “they are neither of those two genders, that is what i have just said!” “oh well what were they born as“ “oh no, dear friend, u appear to be confusing genderqueer with genderfluid! the lady mystique assures me that these are two very different things, [extremely extended explanation]”
y/y
oh my gosh yes
“but what are they biologically?”
“…they are human.”
oh my god
“But what is between their legs?!”
“That is not of your concern, but on a good day, myself!”
IM SCREAMING
#thor’s the kind of guy who would hear that joke #you know #’who wears the pants in your relationship?’ #’well if we’re doing it the right way #neither of us’ #and he’d just BELLOW with laughter #because yes no pants for both of us #excellent (via tinpanali)
HELP
What can a female character do without being criticized mercilessly?
In honor of Jane Foster’s absence.
thor odinson aka precious cinnamon roll, too good, too pure
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(insp)
[NEWS OUTLET VOICE OVER] Doctor Jane Foster was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for her groundbreaking work on the
Einstein-Rosen bridge theory attributed to Thor’s intergalactic travel methods, as well as her work in finding a cure and a treatment to those affected by Loki’s failed attempt at colonizing this world through the Battle of New York, last night in Stockholm, Sweden. She received the prize off the hands of now world famous theoretical physicist Ian Donnelly, who has gained recent fame in his collaboration with the United States army during the Apparition of the 12 alien shells, and assisted Professor Louise Banks in deciphering an alien language. It would seem that we’re beginning to understand the powers around us a little bit better, aren’t we?
Clint watches the replays, hand resting lazily on the remote control. He isn’t absolutely sure as to why he feels so tired – it wasn’t so much being undercover and still being on television, it was the entire sense of achievement. When he’d learnt that Jane was up for the Nobel Physics prize, he had immediately asked Helen Cho and Erik Selvig for their opinion – sure, they had helped him with getting fine tuned to his role as Ian Donnelly, but maybe he needed their expertise a bit more when it came to the fucking Nobel prize.
Thankfully, not a lot of people cared about this year’s prizes, other than the one attributed to literature- Bob Dylan, of all people. He laughs, more of a chuckle, as he turns the television off.
It had been a night where he had felt so out of place – everything was scheduled down to the first plate to be brought out to the security everywhere. If anything, he’d hoped – half expected – the secret services responsible for the protection of the Swedish Royal Family to do a security check on all guests present. Or, maybe, as Helen had told him later on, when he’d promised to guide her through the ceremony and get contact cards for some scientists she wanted to talk science with, it was because the secret service had figured out Ian was just a cover for the Avenger Hawkeye, and had decided that he posed no threat.
(After all, opinions in most European countries was that if anything, if an Avenger like Hawkeye wanted to pay tribute to a scientist who had been able to explain part of the Scandinavian mythology in a logical and sound manner, as well as helped them find a way to understand mind control and move mental health therapy forward, it would be okay).
He smiles to himself.
Jane had thought he was there for protection – she’d asked him, a whisper in his ear as he handed her the prize, if this was like Miss Congeniality, where they put someone in with the rest of the scientists? He’d shaken his head and laughed, moving aside to let her shine.
He didn’t tell her that her experiments, studies and research on the Infinity Gems is what keeps him going – somehow, he wishes she could find the solution faster. But, he guesses, she battles her own battles with her stone, just like he does his, and if anything… She can maybe actually crack the code to healing all of those who had been taken by magic far more advanced than they had ever thought.
based on @alexinthestrangeworld‘s tags on this gifset of when Jeremy Renner awarded Natalie Portman with the Best Actress award at the 2016 Critics Choice Awards:
#okay but imagine #jane wins yet another award for her scientific achievements #maybe one for her studies on bifrost #or maybe reality gem #clint is there undercover as some physicist (ian donnelly ‘cause why not?) #and he is the one give her the award #but also give a little speech thanking her for what she shared with the world #of course jane knows clint and as he hands her a statuette she ask what is it all about #they expect a terrorist attack? an assassin maybe?he just smiles and whispers that he really wanted to be the one who thanks her tonight #he mumbles something about infinity gems and how her studies will make dealing with them a lot safer in the future #he thanks her once more than disappears backstage leaving spotlight for her #yea
and for @isjustprogress, because she wanted this as well.
more Clint Barton gifs /// more Jane Foster gifs /// more Helen Cho gifs /// all gifs
Oh WOW! This is a brilliant manip and idea!!!
Steel Phoenix Studios 