whoops

Was meant to go to bed at 10. It’s now past 1. The intervening time period? Steve Dangle videos. Oops.

(on the other hand, his love for the Leafs is truly inspiring.)

Kadri and his 100th goal puck.

quality commentary, part the third

“Komarov would run over his own mother.”
“Only if she had the puck.”

– Commentators during the FIN vs CAN round-robin game at the 2016 IIHF World Championship

in times of sadness, remember that auston and mitch

canonically carpool together

auston matthews confirmed as that person you don’t wanna bug in the morning unless your name is mitch marner

canonically own and wear matching suits

canonically own and wear matching ties

canonically share a blue jays hat

you know the one

consider: you’ve never seen bruce wayne and batman in the same room, or clark kent and superman in the same room, and you’ve also never seen two of those jays hats in the same room as them

the superhero verdict™ is that it’s the same hat

you can’t argue sound logic, kids

sorry, i don’t make up the rules

canonically wait for each other so they can step out onto the ice together

remember that time auston matthews’ #34 reflected in the glass right where mitch marner’s heart is (i love dying and being DEAD)

apparently they also do a warmup together sometimes

canonically go out of their way to sit together on the bench

you could argue line changes yada yada

but i could argue true love because

*selena gomez voice* the heart wants what it wants

what soft boys

canonically go out of their way to sit together in the locker room even though they aren’t stallmates

not stallmates but apparently soulmates am i right

canonically sit together at baseball and basketball outings even when they’re there with other teammates

oh, look, it’s the infamous blue jays hat

consider: they probably go out of their way to sit together at these outings (*cough* dates *cough*) like everywhere else lbr

canonically sing along to songs together

even on the bench

even in the middle of a game

sometimes even with the approval of bon jovi himself for their effort to deliver bench karaoke renditions (cyb bon jovi ships the thing too wow #confirmed)

consider: it’s not a stretch to imagine them partnering up if ever there was a leafs karaoke night

canonically go to fairs together

where mitchell literally giggles at auston because of his basketball skills (or lack thereof rip auston “it’s the ball” matthews)

*cough* more dates *cough* wow

canonically are each other’s biggest fans

on auston’s historic four-goal debut, mitch straight up told reporters it came as no surprise to him (b/c his boyf is #talented and obvs he knew that already, jeez, it’s simple math @ hockey media)

speaking of mitchell “prez of the matthews fan club” marner, he also predicted auston breaking his goal drought literally hours before it happened (and by predicted i mean mitch marner is auston matthews’ good luck charm because what else would i mean)

canonically have had their parental units mixed up

by the same network that said “clearly auston matthews loves him” re: mitch marner

sportsnet: the realest mvp when it comes to these dumbs

canonically look at each other like this

and also like this

and also like this

i can’t believe they invented love

Why is everyone so excited that Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup champion? Why him specifically?

hockeyknowitall:

Pretty sure this started in Toronto which is kind of funny. Basically Phil Kessel was on the Toronto Maple Leafs during some pretty bad years. And since Phil Kessel ws their perennial all star a lot of the blame fell on him. He was their talent and their top scorer but the team wasn’t winning so of course, it was their only good players fault. The media speifically attacked him at every angle they could. He was anti-social, he was rude, he was lazy and fat, he was a “coach-killer” ect. ect. Basically everything bad with the Leafs was ultimately Phil Kessel’s fault in the eyes of the media. It was getting so bad, the mild manner Kessel had a few blow ups at the media towards the end of his time in Toronto.

There were some issues with Phil, you know the old white guy types who know what they’re talking about but they’re all fucking idiots. And people were throwing Leafs jerseys onto the ice after particularly bad and frustrating losses…and there were a lot of those.

But through all of this most fans and Phil’s teammates stayed loyal to him. Phil loved/loves toronto, considers it home. When he won the stanley cup he brought it back here for his cup day. So there was a lot of love and loyalty still ther e when he was traded to the Penguins during the Leafs rebuild and Leafs fans wanted the pens to win just because of Phil.

So when Phil won the stanley cup and played a huge part in the Penguins success, Maple Leafs fans felt like it was a big fuck you to the media that was so detached from the actual climate of leafs fans. The guy who was the reason for the leafs failure was put on a good team and helped contribute towards that teams success. It was proof it wasn’t Phil’s fault the Leafs were bad. Which is obvious to anyone with common sense but the media does not have that capability.

Throwback to win Jonathan Toews in the midst of all this controversy drafted Phil Kessel first over all in the fantasy draft during the All Star Game and said it was because Kessel was “such a coachable player.” LIke that’s how stupid the media was through all of this. Even players who had nothing to do with them or the team they were covering, were making fun of them.

I’ve seen a lot of people say “Phil Kessel is a stanley cup champion” is a fuck you to the city of Toronto. but it’s not. He was loved here. it’s a fuck you to the media tire fire they have surrounding the Maple Leafs.