Tag: tyler seguin
Tyler’s IG Story – Aug 16.
I take no responsibility for RPF but I’m just saying: In the OMGCP universe, the Parse/Segs shipname would be “trash babies”.
This is so accurate. Holy heck, you know how we talk about Kent’s sexuality being the worst kept secret in the NHL? What if Trash Babies is the culmination of two best buds fucking with the media?
The fan following for them already existed. But then they got super fucking trashed together one time and decided to write a crack fic about themselves (it was horribly written, but they posted it anyway and it’s become infamous in the CP! RPF fandom. People can’t get over how graphic, surreally accurate, and rudimentary it is. (It’s essentially 5k on them having locker sex and they were really drunk ok?))
So then they decide to make fake a Twitter account where they occasionally stoke the fire with “rumors” and “leads” of their love affair. They make sure their ship has a reputation. They’re the Larry’s of their own goddamn fandom. They reinvented shit posting too, mind you.
And in a half-formed eight step plan, they make out at a club during All Star Weekend the next year. People take photos, the paps get involved. No one believes it though. A) you’d be surprised the amount of things people can ignore when they’re in denial B) C’mon, you see two generic white dudebros making out in a dark club and it “has to be” your favs? C) Trash Baby shippers are like the fans who cried wolf, and paps will do anything for a dollar
Bonus: because Trash Babies actually love their fans, they release pics from a photo shoot that’s sorority girls meets engagement announcement (y’all know what I’m talking about, kisses on the cheek, laughing through a meadow, poorly hiding behind trees and finding each other) and it really confuses most of the world? but feeds the shipping fodder for a very long time
I just realized I never posted these… may I present first impressions of NHL players with @sitdownkatherine
urie:
in honor of the holidays, time to bring this back
bro
HUGE THANKS to urrone and anna-sugarfairy and crowmydarling and blueline-strike x for helping find these videos and these stupid lines D: (also i cheated and some of them do not contain the word ‘bro’ wc is rly sad). but pls send me any bro lines if u find any

