A Disney Cast Members’ top priority is the comfort and safety of our guests. For this reason, all Disney World employees must follow these rules. Failure to do so will result in disciplinary action.
Ask to examine the photos our guests have taken. Be friendly. Check for abnormalities. If any are found, call for security. Guests may be distracted with free merchandise.
Every seventh photograph taken on the Dinosaur attraction must be deleted. If questioned, explain that it was a technical error and offer Fast Passes.
The rumors of sharks and crocodiles in the Lagoon are false. However, there is no swimming outside of designated swimming pools on Disney property.
Dead alligators are common around the Lagoon. Simply evacuate the area, call security, then take note of how much has been eaten.
There is only one Mickey out at once. If you find a second Mickey having an autograph session, check for eye holes. All Disney costumes have eye holes.
If you don’t find eye holes, allow the session to continue, but disallow photos. Call security immediately after the session concludes.
If you spot a second Mickey off to the side, lure him into the tunnels. That’s what the ducks are there for. Leave immediately afterwards, and do not look back.
The Disney World security unit does not wear specially marked clothing. If you see someone wearing a shirt that says “Disney Security”, shut down that section of the park immediately.
Following these rules will help ensure a safe and pleasurable trip to the happiest place on Earth. So stay knowledgeable, and stay safe.
Browsing antique stores is always the most wild fucking time. I found an insanely cursed Sean Connery Barbie in my favorite antique store which is nothing new there are like 20 super cursed dolls in that store but they sell men’s flannels for $12 so
The antique store with like 50 pocket dimensions underneath it is playing “What A Feeling” from Flashdance. There’s a giant bloody wooden tooth hanging from chains. This is so surreal
FYI I was using bloody as in there is red splatters on the roots of the teeth not the expletive
Shaggy Rogers is here and he has a giant beard
There is a Greco Roman helmet in one of the the pocket dimensions on top of a typewriter
THERE IS SECRET LIBRARY ???????
People have definitely fucked up here. I can sense it.
This door doesn’t even wiggle there’s no way that lock is what’s keeping it closed
What the fuck
Y’all I’m gonna die going up this
This place is so terrifying im looking for bodies now
Trying to find exit. I’m actually starting to get anxious now.
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jules walked into silent hill
So I have absolutely been inside this specific antique store (unless this is a pocket dimension that exists in many places, the store I know of is in downtown tacoma, WA). It’s spooky as hell, you can’t ever find anyone working there (the one time I did find a clerk he looked like he hadn’t left this garbage mansion in years, his hair was ginger and way too long and way too crunchy), it’s always disturbingly quiet despite being on a main downtown street, and to leave you have to meditate on that desire to summon an exit less you be trapped forever. The floors are incredibly uneven with lots of ramps and rooms on a slope. The library is my favorite part. There’s chairs and shit hanging from the ceiling all over the place. There are several false doors and windows. The inside in undeniably larger than the outside. This place is filled with a miasthma of chaotic energy.
To heal your soul, I recommend going to Mad Hat Tea just around the corner which also has a very real Vibe but it is healing and calming to a magical degree. A classmate of mine said once she had a terrible cold and went to Mad Hat between classes and asked the woman to give her something good for colds, she drank it without question and immediately her cold was gone. Shit theres so many like, old-magic-aura areas in downtown Tacoma guys, it’s crazy.
Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is
The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.
Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.
People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.
It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening.
Regular customers included:
A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject
A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”
An actual group of Neo-Nazis
An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”
I have more these are just off the top of my head
I can’t believe I forgot
two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not
I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.
Having worked in food service for years, yes to all of this. This shit just happens – but I’m betting it is magnified at any place that is open 24 hours a day.
the one across the road however… Did Not. It was a Shell station, and the whole thing looked abandoned. The parking lot was badly cracked and had grass and weeds growing everywhere, some of the fuel nozzles appeared to have been ripped out, and the overhang was leaning dangerously. But. All the lights were on, and even though some of the windows were boarded, you still had a good view of the interior. It looked… well stocked? Like the cashier had just wandered into the back for a sec 2/3
and would be back at any time. But it was still off, somehow, in a way I can’t really explain. Just… wrong. Oh! And the lights on the Shell sign worked too! Except, the ’s’ was burnt out, so it just said: ‘HELL’. Definitely the creepiest thing I’ve seen while driving at night so far. Do you think there’s any chance I accidentally wandered too close to the entrance to another dimension? 3/3
OH MAN ENTROPY-RIDDLED GAS STATIONS ARE MY FAVORITE.
DOUBLY SO ENTROPY-RIDDLED GAS STATIONS IN PLACES WHERE GREAT EVIL WAS SPAWNED AW YEAH. I love the juxtaposition of decaying roof and weed-filled lot with the clean and well-stocked interior. Differing levels of entropy is my fave aesthetic. The “HELL” and missing cashier is a nice touch too. In spite of appearances, it’s not that dangerous a place if you mind your manners, don’t go under the structurally compromised part of the overhang and bring along the tire iron if you want o go around back.
You def should have bought a candy bar. If you pay for it and toss a buck in the tip jar it’s not cursed. Say hi to the cashier, ask what they do for fun around there the answer will be incredible- There’s a similar Shell with the burnt-out S and a shambling restaurant named “Boogie’s” next door in Del Norte that I ALWAYS stop at going to and from Durango. They always remember me becuase I show up pretty much exactly at the same time on the same days every year and make a point of being friendly. Chelsea’s a really nice lady who keeps bees and her son gave me a drawing of a tiger for my fridge.
Also wander around the back to look for sets of eyes glowing back at you from under the dumpster. Whatever eats there is full of chaotic energies and of immense power but probably also lonely. Say hi to them. Don’t feed the wildlife though that’s never a good idea. One of the Sonocos in Ravenna has a large gray dog that sleeps behind the store under the AC unit. She’s there every single time I’ve been to Ohio since 1997. She’s had a white muzzle and arthritis but remains otherwise unchanged, always sitting up and wagging her tail when you come by.
It’s also a great place to pick up a rider if you need one. Most people who have to drive cross-country will tell you to put something in the front seat to keep anything from climbing in with you- a box or a plant but NOT a toy or doll, those can get inhabited. And most of the time you’d be right- things like to sit in unoccupied chairs but most of them don’t actually want to leave, and are very upset if you ‘kidnap’ them. The ones that climb into cars while you’re in motion are rude and wicked pranksters at best. Sometimes, however, you’ll find one who needs to get out of town and on certain roads, you want to have something else in the car.
The stretch of I-80 between Green river Wyoming and Laramie is the worst goddamn part of interstate in the country and I have driven over most of it by now. It’s dangerously boring, poorly maintained and exposed to the elements and there’s been a white-out blizzard or hurricane-force windstorm every single time I’ve been on it. As in, the only indication of where the road actualyl IS are those tiny little reflective poles they out up every 1/10th of a mile and you can’t drive over 15 mph becuase the wind is ready to flip your tiny Honda off the road becuase fuck you that’s why.
Most of the time I can find a Fedex truck to stick close behind and drive in the half-second of exposed road in their wake but in January 2014 I was coming back from a funeral in Salt Lake City and it was shaping up to be another nasty whiteout drive with nary a truck in sight. I didn’t have the money to stay in a hotel and it was already getting late and i didn’t want to get stranded if they closed the highway. I also sure as hell didn’t want to drive that Alone.
So I pulled into the Exxon in Green River, Wyoming. It’s a silent and lonely place at the best of times but just after sunset in the middle of January when it’s 10 degrees out is just miserable. You step out and are immediately filled with the compulsion to be Anywhere Else. I pulled up, started filling the tank, then walked around and opened the passenger side door, taking the bag of chips out of the seat.
“Alright here’s the deal-” I announced, leaning against the car and staring at the towers of granite half-buried by the surrounding dessert, dark shapes in a blue-gray sky. “You don’t want to be here, and I don’t want to drive this next bit alone. I can take you as far as Laramie if you get me through this. It’s nice. They have trees and an inexplicably good sushi place. I’ll drive you, but you have to get out there. Deal?” I waited, staring at the towers and Nothing Else, listening to the pump tick until the door shut against the wind.
It was still a white-knuckle drive, headlights on low becuase high-beams only caught the driving snow, wind barreling into the Honda in random gusts, occasionally shoving me into oncoming traffic for a second before I could correct, heart at a constant staccato and bile in my throat. I didn’t look over at the passenger side more than I had to out of courtesy- things remain unseen for a reason. I got the impression of tall and long-faced and just as terrified as I was but DAMN if the car stuck to the road in spite of the ice, there were no oncoming cars when I got shoved and we even made good time in a few places. We pulled into the Inexplicably Good Sushi place at the interchange of I-80 and 287 and I put my head on the wheel and cried for a good minute.
“Thank you very much.” I eventually managed. “You were very helpful. I’m gonna get takeout, do you want a Marylin Mon-roll to celebrate?”
“That would be nice.”
“Cool. I’ll leave it on the stump there for you.”
I came back out with takeout, left him his sushi and we parted ways, and I drove the remaining hour back home.
people actually get so used to benevolent weirdness in their towns like. if you started wearing a dracula cape everywhere in my town, everyone would just come to accept it.
“hey, was that the dude who wears dracula capes everywhere?”
“yeah, he’s really nice, I talked to him in rite aid once. sorta weird obviously, but cool.”
this post is so blessed bc all of the notes are just people talking about the benevolent weirdos in their towns and I hope they’re all having a good day out there, inspiring people to go out and wear their dracula capes or w/e
Clean, working, fully stocked vending machines in obscure and inaccessible places
Detailed graffiti on surfaces with no obvious spot for the artist to stand, like the underside of a high bridge, or ten metres up a bare wall
Machinery left to rust because there’s no use for it anymore, but it’s in a weird or precarious location and there’s no way to safely remove it
(I’m sure there’s a theme here…)
I’ve been rereading Unknown Armies again recently and there’s a part of me that wants to find occult significance for this sort of nonsense. But then, I kind of enjoy looking for occult significance for a lot of nonsense.
I’m not convinced that there isn’t some occult significance to some of these. The vending machine in particular stems from what’s definitely one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had.
First, some context: I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere, but major Canadian cities tend to have a lot of underground infrastructure – particularly in their downtown areas, where train tunnels, parking garages, underground shopping malls, and hotel basements often connect in such a way that you can easily walk for miles without ever seeing sunlight. The interconnections typically aren’t public, or at least not advertised, but a surprising number of them are accessible if poke around; I once followed a maintenance tunnel in a shopping mall parking complex and emerged in the basement of a nearby casino!
Anyway, I was snooping around in the maintenance tunnels below one of the larger local hotels – legitimately, mind you; I was working for the local telecom at the time, trying to track down an errant network cable – when I rounded a bend and noticed that the corridor a few dozen feet ahead of me was brightly illuminated by something. On top of being filthy and difficult to access, the tunnel was also unlit (I’d been navigating by flashlight), so this really stood out.
I couldn’t see any obvious light fixture to account for it – the light seemed to be emerging from an alcove off to the side of the tunnel – so I went to investigate, and discovered… a Coke machine.
Spotlessly clean, fully stocked, and apparently in full working order; the illumination was coming from its interior display lighting.
In a grimy, unlit maintenance corridor twenty feet below ground level.
In retrospect, I’m kind of glad I didn’t have any change on me at the time, because I’d have been sorely tempted to buy something, and who knows how that would have worked out.
if you’d had that coke, in accordance with the laws of food and drink consumption in the otherworld, you probably wouldn’t be here to tell us this story.
@wordsaredelicious, I presented your theory about the Waffle House pocket universe to my father and he shuddered in realization of a truth!
YES! I am so glad to hear my theory confirmed. There is only one Waffle House with many, many entrances to the Waffle House pocket dimension scattered across the United States.
…somehow I get the feeling that the One True Waffle House, if it exists on our mortal plane at all, might very well be in Georgia.
The Waffle House Index is an informal metric used by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to determine the effect of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disaster recovery. The measure is based on the reputation of the Waffle House restaurant chain for staying open during extreme weather and for reopening quickly, albeit sometimes with a limited menu, after very severe weather events such as tornadoes or hurricanes. The term was coined by FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate in May 2011, following the 2011 Joplin tornado; the two Waffle House restaurants in Joplin remained open after the EF5 multiple-vortex tornado struck the city on May 22. According to Fugate, “If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That’s really bad. That’s when you go to work.”
I love humanity.
I mean, the devil went down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal……
Listen if you ever see a “closed” Waffle House you need to run I’m not saying it’s demons but it’s demons somewhere near by and you need to leave that area until you find another Waffle House that’s open.
I’ve never seen or heard of a Waffle House that was closed without some big Shit happening.
I’m increasingly convinced that Waffle House is basically the restaurant version of Creepy Second Hand Shops that Just Appear One Day