Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.
So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
… can i use that phrase irl?
Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.
Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.
You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly
knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk
backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.
I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.
I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito
While we’re on the topic of Halloween for the entire month, I want to know why vampire or werewolf stories constantly pit werewolves and vampires against each other? If I’m remembering it right in novel Dracula it’s shown or at least heavily implied Dracula can turn into a dog/wolf so the rivalry doesn’t make any sense. If anything vampires (or at least Dracula) should see a werewolf and say “oh sick me too”
It’s canon
the actual only difference between a werewolf and a vampire is if your a jock or a goth
assuming vampires breathe, and are therefore alive, what do they do
If they’re alive and they need it to survive, it’s permitted (provided they don’t kill people in so doing).
If they’re not alive, halacha doesn’t apply to them.
Either way, there is no reasonable halachic restriction on a vampire drinking blood.
but would it need to be from a kosher animal can they drink, like, dolphin blood
Okay now that gets interesting and I would want to actually ask a rabbi whether that would be a thing. like, if one must consume the blood of living things to survive, does it make a difference whether one limits it to the blood of kosher animals or not. I could see it being ruled either way. (I would think if there is only one type of blood one can metabolize or if only one type of blood is available, one can consume it regardless.)
I remember learning that human blood (not sure about animal blood) is permissible to consume if it has not been “poresh” (”separated”) from the body (in the context of “if you cut your lip or your finger and immediately and instinctively put it in your mouth, you don’t have to spit out the blood”).
So
Drinking blood out of a goblet or vacuum-sealed bag would be assur, but sinking your teeth into someone and drinking directly (so that the blood never touches the air or is in a vessel) would be okay.
I know that applies to one’s own blood, but I don’t know if the principle applies to someone else’s. But it may count as a possible precedent!
Okay, so I asked my rabbi about this (… yes, my actual rabbi). Short answer, @fenrisesque, is that the ideal situation is for the vampire to intravenously ingestblood that was donated by a human in order to stay alive, assuming that donation doesn’t kill the person. If homemade intravenously doesn’t work, then storeboughtoral ingestion is fine too. This applies whether or not the vampire can drink animal blood. Long answer, which I find fascinating but is long so under a cut:
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL please thank your rabbi for me
(also, consuming blood from a live person who will not be harmed by the loss of blood is completely different from killing and eating a person – because it is forbidden to derive material gain from a corpse, which includes using it for food, separately from any kosher/nonkosher issues.)
Where were you wonderful people when I was working on Tempus Fugitive???I?I
Listen I’m not a real religious person but the complete willingness of rabbis to seriously discuss whether various forms of possible vampire food are kosher is just the most amazing thing, and I feel like the Jewish people are really doing a lot of things right, is all.
vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special
Wired: Werewolf Karaoke, and all the locals are really invested in it. So the werewolf pack initiation ceremony is actually just singing “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Have you thought of bulk club runs for giant jars of peanut butter and hotdogs by the gross? I know some werewolves who have.
Hunting licenses are great and deer are delicious, but city doggos can buy a whole cow and have it delivered already in eatable bits. (Sometimes your meat guy will call you and say “so a guy offered me some ostriches, how many do you want” and then family dinners are glorious.)
Don’t think about werewolves who take turns shifting so they can give each other belly rubs.
2. Not to got off on too much of a tangent but consider: At Costco (and probably other bulk stores with butchers but def Costco) you can call in and special order as much beef blood as you want*, so consider:
Werewolf at the checkout at costo with dog toys, a frankly suspicious amount of beef, carob because brownies are great but chocolate is not such a great plan, and an industrial-size lint-roller in her cart. And a giant thing of aresol cheeze whiz. For Cover. And definitely NOT for spraying across the room into her buddy’s mouth while he’s shifted.
And they look over at the cart behing them and it’s a lady with a drum of beef blood, a 12-pack of spf 5000, the order forms for a coffin**, and off-season halloween decorations and-
“Look, I get some cheez. Ya gotta have some cover.” Wolfie sighs. Must be new.
Vamp looks up at them from under thier broad-brimmed hat, and slowly grins, before picking up a high-end videocamera. “I’m shooting a movie, Don’t you know? this is all props and special effects. Your… dog can have a cameo, if I can have your number.”
“Fanged Flirtations” Doesn’t have wide distribution but it’s a cult hit on the cryptid circuit.
New skill: using sign language when mouth is not right shape for words.
Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.
However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.
So THAT’S why you can’t take traditional photographs of vampires! Digital ones would work, provided there wasn’t any silver in the caption mechanism!
Nicolas Cage needs to update his information!
Also film used to have silver compounds in it, so double whammy.
Steel Phoenix Studios 