Textual evidence that the speaker in Toto’s “Africa” is the protagonist of a late 1990s JRPG:
I hear the drums echoing tonight / But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation – JRPG protagonists’ love interests typically have access to some secret knowledge or heritage, often manifesting as voices that no-one else can hear
I stopped an old man along the way / Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
– This is an utterly deranged interaction unless the speaker inhabits a world in which random passers-by can be counted on to have a single line of oddly plot-relevant dialogue apiece
It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you / There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
– This couplet implies extraordinary combat prowess
The wild dogs cry out in the night / As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company
– Ordinarily reclusive monsters mysteriously growing restless and seeking human contact is a common textual justification for the high random encounter rates of old-school JRPGs
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti / I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become
– A clear reference to the speaker’s terrible hidden power, which they must master in order to assume their role as the Chosen One; sacred mountains are a customary site of quests to attain such mastery
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had – An equally clear reference to an unfinished series of arcane sidequests.
“The Rains Down in Africa” is the name of the protagonist’s ultimate weapon that you get for completing said series of sidequests.
Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you’ve skipped the tutorial and you’re just sort of running about with no idea how anything works
Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you’ve figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you’re supposed to be doing.
Being 30-35 is like that bit in the game where you mostly know what you’re doing and have fixed a few of the levelling issues, but still can’t do anything because you don’t have any gold or mana left.
Had a dream I was playing an indie game about a 1950’s housewife trying to kill her husband.
The objective of the game was to kill him without A) alerting the husband, B) getting caught by your busybody neighbor, or C) accidentally killing your kids/have them walk in on you murdering their dad.
The first level was that you had to slip poison into his food or drink, since that was subtle and easy enough. But I think as the levels progressed, the murder attempts got more…gruesome and difficult to hide. I remember using garden sheers at one point.
And the game had a 1950s advert style to it, kind of how Bendy and the Ink Machine is stylized
^ kind of like that
Anyway I’m calling it Desperate Housewife and if anyone wants to actually make that game gimme some credit lmao
i had a dream that i was solid snake workin at taco bell
“Uhhhh, can I get a doritos locos taco?”
“Doritos locos taco… Colonel, what’s the procedure?”
“That’s a taco with a special shell, Snake – made not from an ordinary corn tortilla but designed to evoke the famous tortilla chip, packed with extreme flavor. Substitute the shell and prepare the rest of the taco normally.”
“Got it. Excuse me, customer. There’s both Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese shells here. Which would you prefer?”
“Cool ranch, please.”
“On it.”
can we get david hayter in on this
guess who met david hayter
David Hayter is a glorious man who clearly loved his role/loves his fans.
reblogging this again because fucking Liquid’s VA did a response to this:
Steel Phoenix Studios 