Crop circles? Nope – cropmarks. Incredibly hot, dry weather across Wales this summer is revealing remnants of ancient settlements as patterns of growth in crops and grasslands.
1. Medieval castle mound at Castell Llwyn Gwinau, Tregaron 2. Cross Oak Hillfort, Talybont on Usk 3. Trewen Roman farmstead or villa, Caerwent, south Wales
I’ve been working on a wooden longbow most of the afternoon. Here are ten easy steps for making your own 🙂
1. Cut down a tree
2.Split that tree into lengthwise sections called staves. The dog will help
3. Build a woodshed
4. Let those staves dry for a few years in the shed
5. Remove all the shit that isn’t a bow. The dog will help again by lying on your foot
6. Make sure the handle stays centered in the growth rings
7. Steam bend and weight the wood so that both limbs start with the same bend
8. Slowly remove wood from the belly of the bow on both sides until they bend evenly
9. Add tip overlays, handle wraps, and all the fancy crap
10. Go out in the yard and practice till hunting season starts
I may need to drive to town for some human contact.
😮
Any particular wood? What was it here? I always meant to try making a bow out of my parents’ overgrown yew shrubbery, but that didn’t work out.
Pictured in the compilation above are shagbark hickory, hop-hornbeam, and common buckthorn. While English yew is rightfully considered one of the best bow woods, almost any straight grained hardwood can make a very nice bow. You can even use maple boards from the hardware store to start.
“Shagbark Hickory,” “Hop-Hornbeam,” and “Common Buckthorn,” all sound like the names middle earth kids give their high school garage bands.
😂😂😂… and now my brain just created Ent Metal as a genre. It’s pretty damn Larghissimo, but very strong.
what a fuckin’ nerd.
Okay now I want to figure out what ent metal would sound like.
I’m thinking thunder and whale song. Somehow.
The amount of notes this has gotten is absurd. That doesn’t happen to my posts, but since you crazy kids seem interested here’s (one of a gajillion ways) to make the accompanying primitive arrows.
We want lighter wood than we used to make the bows. This is white cedar- nice and light and sproingy.
Mill that up into rectangular pieces as long as your arrows need to be.
Then you use this homemade tool called a shooting board to rest them in while you hand plane them from rectangular to round.
You saved your wings from the spring turkey hunt, right? Good, we’re gonna need those primary feathers.
Make yourself a pattern out brass or copper sheet, clamp the feather to it, and burn it with a torch. This will shape the feathers into fletchings.
Now we need to make pine pitch glue by melting together pine pitch (you can pick it off pine trees where they’ve been injured) and hardwood charcoal. Think of it as ancient people’s super glue.
Get your paleontologist buddy to give you some rock from actual Paleolithic quarry sites ‘cuz that’s pretty rad.
Learn flint knapping… he said casually after years of hair-pulling-out struggles with it.
Attach your stone points to your arrow shafts using the ancient super glue stuff and leg sinew from the deer you got last year. Do the same for the fletchings.
And you’re finally ready to start practicing! Don’t worry, the dog will help again by standing directly in front of the target because she’s beautiful and loving, but not very good at critical thinking sometimes.
mansies, this post keeps getting more awesome. 🙂
also, proposal: should Caradhras have a different name in summertime? i’m feelin’ a more Bag End or Hobbiton vibe when the place isn’t covered in show.
You can’t go changing place names seasonally, @danipup What would the maps look like? Every place has 4 names?😂😂
in d&d, deer have 14 wisdom. a deer is just as wise as my ranger for whom i put his second-highest ability roll in wisdom and who uses wisdom to cast most of his spells. a deer is wiser than everyone in the friendship campaign party other than erwyn, who is tied with said deer. what the fuck
Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.
So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.
Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.
“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”
“Recruit me? For what?”
“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”
And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.
Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared.
Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.
I need this like air
Look – here’s your casting call:
Sigourney Weaver – 67
Pam Grier – 67
Lynda Carter – 65
Linda Hamilton – 60
Angela Basset – 58
Michele Yeoh – 54
Ming-na Wen – 53
Famke Janssen – 52
Halle Berry – 50
Tia Carrere – 50
Carrie-Anne Moss – 49
Lucy Lawless – 49
Lucy Liu – 48
Uma Thurman – 47
Angelina Jolie – 41
Milla Jovovich – 41
Sarah Michelle Gellar – 40
The Recruit:
Jessica Alba – 36
Emily Blunt – 34
I need this to happen!
There should be a whole bit about how uma and Lucy liu can never be in the same place because of an old grudge.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Betty White runs the whole Op and everyone reports to her.
I would literally abduct people and force them to watch this at knife-point. (JK I would pay for their tickets and bribe them with chocolate and booze)
I’m an atheist, but I’m ready to start praying for this!
Allow me to suggest a director: George Miller (Mad Max: Fury Road).
Steel Phoenix Studios 