I’m a cashier and you’re buying some really random products, I’m trying not to judge, but…wtf dude?
We comically slid into each other on a slick floor
You stole my umbrella, you punk! Oh wait… we just have the same umbrella and I left mine on the bus…
We both reached for the last random item on the shelf and we’re both too polite to take the thing
You’re knitting a really long scarf and I have to know… is it for cosplay or a giant?
We both came to this movie alone and tried to drape our coats over the same seat to keep from having to sit next to someone we didn’t know.
We both ordered the last slice of apple pie, would you mind sharing?
You’re my hero, thank you for saving me from that evil goose!
We’re both sitting on this park bench, I’m reading and… oh my gosh are you sketching me? Let me see!
A large gust of wind blew all my papers out of my hands and I’m scrambling to pick them up before you try to help me. Please don’t judge me for what’s on these papers.
B. Bed Sharing
You forgot your sleeping bag, but I have mine. Surely we can figure this out.
Air Mattress that keeps deflating, leaving them smushed against each other by morning
This hide-a-bed is the most uncomfortable thing in the existence of everything and now I have to share it with you.
There are two beds, but only one blanket.
We started out feet to head, but somehow ended up facing each other.
Sure, you can sleep in my bed, but no one can know you’re here.
I’m sorry the hotel lost your reservations, do you wanna try bunking with me?
I was under the impression that the bed would a bit… bigger? How are we both supposed to fit now?
Person A is a pillow/blanket hog and Person B [and C] is [are] fighting for the last corner of the blanket
Look, I know you’re awake, I can hear you rustling around. Would it make you feel better if I laid down with you? Just until you fall asleep?
C. Fake Relationship
Can you pretend to be my significant other so we can get this couples’ discount?
Hey listen. I booked a couples’ cruise months ago and now I’m single. Wanna come along?
Just play along with this until my mom leaves, okay?
I need a date for this thing. There’s free food and booze. Whaddya say?
Kisses now, questions later.
We’re really close friends, but everyone thinks we’re dating. There’s a betting pool and everything. I say we fake them all out and make a killing off our breakup.
Swing dance competition partners
Celebrity publicity relationship that turns real
High school reunion trophy spouse
We’re so deep undercover this marriage is starting to feel real
D. Huddling For Warmth
Fell through the ice
Stuck in a car during a blizzard
We’re neighbors in an apartment building and our power went out. It’s freezing outside and they don’t know when it’ll come back on.
We finally found the cabin, but it’s taking a long time for the fire to heat the room.
Stuck in a deep freezer.
Character A is sick with a fever and has the chills. Character B (and C) offer to snuggle up under a blanket with them.
We’re camping and it’s a lot colder than we realized it would be, let’s zip our sleeping bags together and never speak of this again.
“Stop kicking off all the blankets…”
We got drenched in that freak rainstorm-turned freezing rain, how ever will we warm back up?
Quit putting your freezing feet on me and just get over here and snuggle already.
E. Pregnancy/Baby/Kid Fic
Surprise Pregnancy
We’re finally pregnant, I can’t believe it, after all this time!
Ultrasound surprise: It’s TWINS!
Baby just won’t sleep
Holding their son/daughter for the first time
When they wrap their little hand around your finger
Baby’s first words
Homework help
Playing dress up with darling child
Scraped knee first aid
F. Arranged Marriage
Marriage of convenience
Prophecy fulfillment
Political marriage
We’ve been betrothed since birth and the first time we’re meeting is at our wedding
Both of us have suffered unfortunate social problems and this marriage is our only option
Marriage law (Everyone must be married due to some law or decree)
Our marriage was arranged, and I’ve admired you from afar for years, so I’m thrilled, but you are decided less than thrilled, so where does this leave us?
I’ve been betrothed to someone since birth, but I’ve never met them before. Omg, who is this gorgeous stable hand who I’ve never met before? (Spoiler alert, it’s my betrothed)
Our parents arranged our marriage and we’re doing everything within our power to get them to call it off. Only this backfires and now we kind of, sort of, definitely like each other.
Our marriage was just for show at first, and we always knew it would only last a few years. Except now we’ve developed feelings for one another, what should we do?
G. Secret Relationship
Nothing would really happen if people found out, it’s just hotter if we keep it a secret.
Both of us think the other one wants the relationship kept secret
Caught!
Infidelity
Oh my god, is that my mom? My family CANNOT see us together!
The Princess (or Prince) and the stable hand
We’re hiding our relationship from my ex, who also happens to be your best friend.
There are too many bets riding on us dating for us to admit to our friends that we’re dating
The Monica and Chandler (We aren’t sure if this is real yet, so we need to keep this from our friends)
You’re my best friend’s nemesis! He cannot know we’re dating!
H. Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers
Person A is the lead singer in an in-house band and Person B [and C] is [are] heckling them
Owners of rival food truck businesses
You’re a vandal spray-painting a mustache on my billboard.
I’m trying to open a business in a new minimall and you’re protesting outside my door.
“What are you doing NOW? I’m trying to sleep and it’s like you’re teaching a giant baby how to walk in the apartment above mine.”
Mutual pining of two friends
Fakeout makeout between two friends
“Somebody bends unexpectedly”
Fell asleep on the couch with you and suddenly I’m having feelings… (Okay, maybe they were always there, but I’m admitting to them now!)
“I’m not sure why I don’t like your new significant other, but it’s definitely not because I want to be with you!” they lied, lyingly.
I. Thank Goodness You’re Here!
I have no idea how we’re going to get this paint off…
I promise, I woke up and it was like this!
I accidentally turned all the laundry pink!
The fridge just died! You have to help me eat all this food!
I have been lying here for an hour waiting for someone to help…
This is NOT what it looks like. Okay… it’s exactly what it looks like.
I just need you to give me a boost up into the attic, I’ll handle it from there.
I don’t know who this puppy belongs to, but he won’t leave!
This is not a drill, we have run out of cheese!
My shoe is caught and there’s a zombie hoard coming!
I want villains who go against the stereotypical bullshit that “evil cannot love” or whatever.
I want villains who spend months in their creepy dark lab building the death ray with their best buddy and hug each other when the superweapon is finally complete.
I want villains who fall madly in love with the other evil prince or princess they married to consolidate their power.
I want villains who tell bedtime stories to the little clone they created to be the successor to their throne and order their minions to get the clone a cup of warm milk because she can’t sleep.
I want villains hanging out with their best friends and acting like dorks while they bowl with their enemies’ skulls.
I want villains who are both evil and real, and real people have friends and families and loved ones.
Do you mean heroes?
No.
How do you get heroes from this!? What hero goes bowling
with the skulls of their enemies?
I want
villains with families.
I want
mad scientists helping their children with their science homework.
I want villains leaving halfway though a battle because it’s
their anniversary and they are not going to leave their spouse waiting.
I want villains who don’t work on Wednesdays because that’s
the day they visit their mum and take her out for tea.
I want villains who hypnotise teachers to give their
children good grades.
This reminds me of a series of recordings I made once as a joke…
Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown was talking about careers in class, and she asked me what you do.
Villain (in a deep, growling voice): I watch the world burn.
Child: Yeah, but I think she meant as a job?
Child: Daddy, Mrs Brown gave me detention again.
Villain: Let me fetch my gasoline.
Child: Um, Daddy, I’m not sure that…
Villain: Fire is the only way.
Villain: Ella, what is wrong? Are you crying?
Child: Josh said I’m ugly.
Villain: Ella, you are more beautiful than the screams of agony of a thousand enemies as I set them aflame.
Minion: Master, the elementary school has breached our security control and broken into our intercom system. They wish to negotiate with you regarding your daughter’s grades.
Villain: Negotiate? There is no negotiation. There is only repentance, or death.
Minion: Very well, master. Also, your daughter requests a bedtime story.
Villain: Tell her I am coming at once.
Minion: Master, why are your cape and robes… pink?
Villain: It is my daughter’s birthday today.
Minion: But what about darkness and evil, master?
Villain: The covenant of darkness is lesser than the covenant of fatherhood, Gerald.
You guys need to read Shannon K Garrity’s Narbonic. Completed webcomic available in book form (2 collections of the original 6). This will satisfy everything you’re talking about and it’s basically awesome.
A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.
I would watch the crap outta this like wow
Envy: “Glut, back off the guy, okay?”
Gluttony: “I’m just saying he could stand to gain a few pounds! I made spaghetti!”
Sloth: “After we eat, it’s gonna be time for a nice nap. We’ve earned it!”
Pride: “Damn right we did!”
Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.
Wrath does nothing but encourage him to punch assholes.
“You deserve better! That was YOUR parking space!”
“He’s like three hundred pounds of muscle, Wrath.”
“And you are 165 pounds of RAGE!”
Wrath’s advice isn’t great, but he means well.
Everyone is convinced that Wrath is useless because while he insists he makes the main stand up for himself Pride does a much better job of it. One day the main character is walking along, depressed, apathetic, and sees someone dragging their dog down the block by its leash. It’s clearly in pain. Suddenly Wrath goes full forth and the main character realizes that only Wrath can spot injustice.
I kind of want to see a story about an elf; tall, beautiful, clumsy as fuck, and an industrial worker who can’t do archery to save themselves and swears all the time.
And I kind of want to see a story about a dwarf; short, robust, hairy, elegant, sweet, very refined and a lover of poetry who’s never said a rude word in their life.
I just think it would be an interesting change of pace.
they’re girlfriends
they’re super fucking cute and i need more of this.
Your super power is that you are average, at everything you do.
no, no- imagine how amazing this would be! you’re average- but the key here is at EVERYTHING you try and do
try and get the cure to cancer? well, aint a fingers snap and done cure but its a cure. doctors worldwide are astounded
try and learn how to communicate with an alien race? well, youre not fluent but its passing and humanity hasnt even invented deep space flight- you just managed to get their signal and have a chat
want to fly? well- youre a bit wobbly but goddamn its working
being average at everything is amazing bc if we assume anything you try works then eveything is at least working a bit
Jack of all trades, master of none, better than a master of one
You’re assuming ‘average’ means ‘mediocre’ though. But average means the most statistically normal. So because a very few people in the world’s population have the aptitude and education to make a breakthrough in cancer research, the average ability to cure cancer across the human race is basically zero. Therefore Average Jo as this person must surely be named would have no greater aptitude than the next person.
It depends how the power gauges averages. Does it always take the entire world’s population as it’s pool? Or does it go by population of immediate surroundings?
Cos the latter could be a cool power. You sneak in to an army camp and suddenly are a decent enough soldier to pass muster and fight. You go to Avengers hq and the presence of superpowered people in the local pool means average is suddenly ‘mildly but superhumanly strong and able to at least hover’. You’re only a kid but you find that if you go and study at the local University campus you’re suddenly a lot more knowledgeable. Also mildly tipsy and high unfortunately.
Also, I think Average Jo would fight Spiders Georg.
Tearing your favourite article of clothing and discovering that it’s
irreplaceable because the technique of its manufacture has been lost
Realising you’ve thought of the perfect comeback to someone who’s been dead for three hundred years
Not being able to eat your favourite dish anymore because the source of some critical ingredient has gone extinct
Having strong opinions about sports that are no longer played
Getting a song from the 13th Century stuck in your head and being unable to get it out because you don’t remember how it ends and you’re the only person on Earth who knows it
Having that perfect pun you’ve been waiting forever for a chance to use stop working due to linguistic drift
my nemesis: i’m going to hurt you of course but first i’ll go after all of your friends and–
me: i don’t.
my nemesis: …what
me: i don’t have any of those
my nemesis: fr.. iends..
me: yeah
my nemesis: you don’t.. have those. not even one
me: nope
my nemesis: and you aren’t like.. lying. for your own/their sake
me: no i genuinely just don’t have any and i wanted to save you the trouble of having to start the process of looking into it only to find nothing to work with, so
my nemesis: oh. ah. wow. that’s.. polite. of you. i guess
me: mmhm
my nemesis: this is like.. seriously bumming me out right now. are you.. busy tonight? oh. fuck. obviously you aren’t. sorry. i’m sorry. wasn’t trying to be insensitive. god. anyway. we’re.. going to go to the movies, okay? i’m not getting any satisfaction out of.. that conversation. any joy just.. whoosh. right out the window. that whole exchange just truly ruined my current state emotionally and i’m.. getting you out of the house. asap
Steel Phoenix Studios 