i was waiting on the pizza delivery guy to call me to say my pizza is here and when my phone rang i accidentally answered with “Pizza?” instead of hello and he replied “yes this is pizza”
Things I need in life and am willing to write myself to make it happen:
A modern adaptation of Dracula where everything is the same but Jonathan harker is a woman
Like cute nerdy recent law school grad Joanna Harker and her equally nerdy English teacher fiancee Mina and she gets her first job at a law firm and its sorting out some real estate paperwork for a foreign aristocrat and she’s very excited to be trusted with such an important task and she films Mina cute video diaries from her phone as she travels whenever the signals to weak to call her and then dracula’s castle is a deadzone (bc of supernatural bs or just cuz it’s the middle of nowhere) so she can only send out super censored letters and but she’s still filming and taking photos and her last video before she escapes is her saying goodbye to Mina because the phone is going to die and then it plays out like it does in the novel
And listen it would be so good and we’d get happy ever after vampire killing lesbians what more do you want
I love it when people try to claim representation in fiction is being taken “too far” to the point where it’s no believable. They’re like:
“What’s next, a mixed-race immigrant on the autism spectrum?” Hi, my name is Rachel, also known as Rachna, and I’m a mixed-race immigrant on the autism spectrum.
“What’s next, a transgender Latino man with chronic pain?” What, you mean my former colleague, Marco?
“What’s next, a Black Jewish lesbian?” Bitch, I know I three Black Jewish lesbians, WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING POINT?
im so tired of the argument being “what’s next? a feasible combination of human conditions other than straight white cis able-bodied dude? that can’t possibly happen!”
Remember how that picture of a drag queen next to a woman in a niqab on the subway got memed by conservatives as “the future liberals want”, when it was… literally a photograph of people just fuckin riding public transit in the present day….
my parents just got back from vacation and my mom befriended an octopus???? she scared off a small shark (because you don’t want them near you in the water) and realized the thing it had been circling was a little octopus, which then came over and stayed near her feet for a few minutes. I’ve never been so jealous in my entire life
she didn’t even realize it was an octopus at first because it was pretending to be a starfish. i love my new octopus sibling.
I’m glad you’re all so supportive of my newest family member
My husband doesn’t believe me that shaving your legs is difficult and time consuming. So long story short he is about to shave his legs for the first time.
Update: he is part way through one leg and regretting his decision. I got him to switch from his men’s razor to my woman razor (his is for face shaving) and it’s going slightly better.
He is hating shaving his legs. HATING it.
Update:
My husband from the shower: how many notes does your post have?
Me: roughly one for every YEAR you have been in that shower!
Update:
BEFORE:
AFTER:
He says it was ridiculous and he can’t imagine having to do it again in a few days time, it’s much harder than shaving his face (he had previously claimed they would be abut the same). He says he feels he has learned a lesson!
Edit: He also pulled a muscle while shaving his legs! He said it was like exercise. “Yoga in the shower with razors” indeed!
Update: he has been rubbing his legs together in bed for ten minutes.
Steel Phoenix Studios 